Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Homework hell

Hello fellas..

I have some homework tips which I am ashamed to call tips and you will see why..But its my duty to spread the knowledge, so here it goes-

1> DO NOT get involved in homework. It's not like it's your homework anyways. Right?
2> If that does not work, try to oblige your better half with the duties. A lot of excuses work, but the best one so far will be "The kids will always remember you for this. Don't you want that to happen?"
3> If that does not work, try point number 1 again.
4> Now it gets tougher if that does not work. I never ever believed in the Muhurat. But now I do. Guys, the stars need to be aligned for this homework business to work. No kidding.
5> Give yourself a long break before it all begins and may be a snack. The articles suggest giving snacks to the kids, but who wants to make kids more hyper and energetic. If anyone needs food, it's us..wish someone can think about us parents while writing these articles...I do..
6> Choose a good setting for homework the articles say. Some quiet corner in the room. I would say you can do it in the restroom, which will save you all the time spent in bathroom breaks..The objects in question seem to forget where to return to after the bathroom break, so if you are right there, you have it covered..
7> Well now since you have waged the war already, you might as well fight for your life. These might help-
Kid: Why do I have to do this anyway?
Parent: You do not have to. I will ask your question to your teacher by sending a note.

Kid: This is so boring. Homework is boring. It's boring. It's boring..It's
Parent: You do not have to do it. I will send a note to your teacher about this.

Kid: Why does this have to be so difficult? I do not even understand the question..I cannot do this..I cannot do this..I cannot..I
Parent: You do not have to do it. I will ask your teacher about this.

Needless to say nothing mentioned above has worked for me so far..so please be my guest and share your experiences with me..will ya?


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Daily Mist

Hey you all, its me..Jay Jay - a reporter of the Daily Mist. It's been a while..Now you might ask "Why is it called The Daily Mist?" to which I answer "Becuz"..

I have made the most important discovery of the womenkind and the mankind (<-- mommy, I know you will be proud of me to use word womenkind..thanks..)The truth is your parents almost always agree when the decision is going against what you hoped for..read for yourself-

J: Can I have my own iPhone?
M & D: Nooooooooooooo

J: Can you buy me a horse as a gift for next birthday?
M & D: Noooooooooooooooooo

J: I do not feel like going to this birthday. I think I will not go..
M & D:Oh, yes, you will..

A little background - lately I think mommy is getting way too much time for herself and also I feel we need this. We need a baby sibling here. Becuz imagine when the object in question is well fed, burped, rested, bathed, cleaned, dried, clothed, well fed again, burped and then resting in the stroller, I can show her/him off as my baby..you see? So, I made a little rhyme for mom and dad to agree with my proposal

J (looking at mom and dad): May be you want a baby
M & D : Noooooooooooooooooooo..No way...
alas, I had to change the rhyme
J: May be you want a baby, but may be you just won't

So, please make a note, you all kids around the world, when your parents agree to dis-agree with you, you will most definitely see a little sparkle in their eyes which is a miracle..
moving on...

the little sister has finally figured out what she wants to be when she grows up
M: Nini, what do you want to be when you grow up?
N: Yesterday, when I growed up, I want to be a cooker..
that is so hill-a-ri-us..somehow she had a pretty annoyed and firm expression on her face..so cooker it is Nina..we get it..

Talking about getting annoyed, I have been subjected to frequent bouts of crying followed by bouts of weird laughing and then crying by Nina (and her mother) all day long. I do not get it. Really..so mommy said "Jay Jay we are prepraring you for what lies ahead.." I still do not get it..becuz as far as I can see I have math test, spelling test, another math test and then another spelling test ahead of me and I do not know what crying and then laughing is doing to help me survive that..but whateves..

I am so happy to announce that I watched my very first Indian movie...its called English-Vinglish..or may I say "Hindi-Vindi" for me? becuz man, there was a whole lot of Hindi-Vindi in there..while mom and dad where enjoying the movie completely ignoring me, uncle Nick came to the rescue and provided sub-titles..thanks uncle Nick, I owe you one..or may be two..

In the make-believe fire-fire game played by me and Nina last week, there was a make-believe fire on Gokhale road in India. We had to close the entire street for which daddy said "No way. you cannot close gokhale road. If there is fire, people will walk over it and it will vanish on its on"..for some reason, mommy looked annoyed..have I already mentioned to you that womenkind seem to get annoyed pretty fast..I think mommy has some contacts on gokhale road and she won't allow daddy to roam around there anymore..daddy better explore new roads..

Talking about exploring, daddy showed me this new thing called Google-Earth.
Question-
Daddy, why is it called Google-Earth if I can explore mars and moon there?

Its pretty cool-vool tool..while daddy and I were busy exploring Earth this last weekend, mommy for some reason seemed upset. Oh, did I mention to you that womenkind seem to get upset pretty often? But daddy assured me while holding cup of coffee that we are brought upon this earth for greater cause - which is to explore..besides you can not even find laundry and groceries in Google earth..way to go daddy..

So, whats cooking-vooking at your end? 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The edge

I sigh
and move closer to the edge
every single time

The edge is scary
But the jump might be beautiful
I say to myself

As I inch closer
I start to see the things down there

Things appear so tiny
all covered in shimmering light
beckoning me to get all wrapped up
in a tight warm hug

Make no mistake
Once you jump
there is no coming back

There is a lot to lose
and a lot to give back
will I ever feel whole again?
there is only one way to find out

I take a deep breath
close my eyes and smile a bit
I just have to let go
this could be it

suddenly I hear something ring
something oh so familiar
I run towards it with all the might
as it keeps getting louder..

My eyes are wide open now
and lost at the same time..
As I sit frozen in my seat
and see my bus stop way behind..

Thursday, October 18, 2012

TP Queen

काय करतोस जय?
काय करतोस जय?
अग TP करतो थोडा
सारखे काम करून करून
कंटाळा आला जरा
 
Huh , TP ?
TP  म्हणजे काय?
अग TP म्हणजे time  pass
माहित नाही कसे तुला?
 
TP म्हणजे काय
हे कोणी रे सांगितले तुला?
अग काल दुपारी गप्पा मारताना
आज्जीच म्हणाली मला
 
बघ TP करणे सोप्पे नाही
हे माहित आहे का तुला?
जरा disturb करू नकोस
मोकळे सोड बघू मला
 
Hello Daddy Hello Daddy
जरा वेळ आहे का तुला?
TP म्हणजे काय करावे
ते सुचत नाहीये मला
 
हो का?असे करू?
बर बर, phone ठेवतो मी आत्ता
संद्याकाळी तू घरी आल्यावर
सावकाश मारूया गप्पा
 
अग mummy अग mummy
एक meeting घायची आहे मला
daddy म्हणाले कि तू TP expert आहेस
म्हणून consult  करतो तुला
 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

WeDrawed

We drawed so much we thinked we should share-one by one....



                                                          Manhattan Skyline By Jay
 

WeSinged

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Yes Boss!

It was about time she updated me with the order of precedence that has been already established..so in one of our daily status review meetings Nina Kumari spilled the beans..

N: Mommy, it's going to rain tomorrow..
M: Hmm...
N: Big rain drops mommy...you know what that means?
M: what?
N: no school tomorrow..for me and Jay and you and daddy
M: I still have to ask my manager to see if he is okay with vacation..
N: You mean Daddy?
M: Hmm??
N: Yes, your manager - Daddy?
M: No, Daddy is not my manager..
N: Yes, he IS ..Daddy is your boss, you are Jay's boss and Jay is my boss..okke?

I mean I admit there might have been incidents that might have given my very own kids a wrong impression about who might be the boss, but all this while I thought I was teaching them who is assigned what kind of work..like for example-

J: Mommy, chair is broken..
M: Let's wait for daddy. He is strong.

J: Mommy, can we buy the Ninjago spinner on Amazon?
M: Let's talk to Daddy and then decide.

J & N (Screaming): Mommy, we see a bug..we see a bug..
M: Daddy will be home in 10 minutes..the bug is crawling slowly..I am sure the bug can wait..

Do you see where I was going with this? But alas..I digged a hole for myself..I finally understood what goes around comes around..I now know the meaning of boomerang...you get the point..

But gotta say boss, nice try! Now that I think about it, I see a direct connection of this line of thinking with 7 straight days the kids spent with you at home on vacation while I was praising you for being the best stay at home daddy in the world...But you know me and I know this game very well..Soon the ball will be in your court, Boss!!

Friday, October 5, 2012

From the first grade diaries

My felo first graders,

who made the rules anyways?
because sometimes you CAN read right to left I say

feel free to spell them right to left
and then draw some letters which are wiggly
Moms might try hard to put on a brave fact
but just know that they feeling all giggly

if you spell "fo" instead of "of",
please don't be hard on yourself..
Don't be alarmed with "d" and "b"
they both love each other and do not mind getting all mixed up themselves..

throw grammar rules out the window
it's all boring for the sentences ..
It's been years sentences had some fun
I think they are ready for a change..

and that change is you my friend
who would have thought?
I don't know about you
but my own grammar and phonics book writing is about to start..

- Jay
PS: Plees by my book on amezon or googul. If you do not no, call my mom..

Saturday, September 29, 2012

...That never...

Dude
you knew it was time
still you would not budge

your own brother was standing right behind you
he even gave you a gentle nudge

did not expect this from you
after what we have been through

I finally had to take the plunge
and face my fears
when you came out
somehow my mom was in tears

I hope your family does not follow the same suite
cause have you ever heard of something called deductible
I think its something like money
which I hope mom does demand from tooth fairy people

to the tooth that never fell
Adios
it's been pleasure....

PS: Tooth fairy, I do not accept checks. Because last time someone gave check to me and I never got the money back..cash please..

-Jay

Friday, September 21, 2012

Addiction

Sssssssssssssup guys!!!

Thought I should update you on my recent addictions..

In last couple of months people have been mentioning me the benefits of watching "The Big Bang Theory" and so I wanted to give it a try..given that I am so busy doing all self-centered things, I had to give up on something to make time for this..So I gave up fighting with you-know-who..making you-know-who the biggest fan ever of the show even before we gave it a try....It was a love at first sight for me with this show I must admit..I loved the entire cast and especially Sheldon..I adore the expression on his face and the voice when he is telling a lie..The voice of Shelton telling a lie amazingly resembles with the voice of you-know-who telling a lie ..or should we say "when not telling the truth" because here in DattaVille, we do not tell a lie..no sir..we just do not tell the truth..

And second one is ofcourse my Zumba class with Josi. Josi is the kind of like the girl I wanted to be when I was in my twenties..only thing is I did not know it back then..So Josi is a typical Manhattan kind of girl who seems to be happy just about anywhere and anytime - which is like living in fantasy world for me. So I am totally drawn to her world...She throws small packets of happiness at us when she is moving her tiny hands on the rhythm of the song which if we are agile enough, we can catch it..the more agile you are, the more happy you might be..and I heard Josi telling something about losing a pound, but I have yet to discover that side of the glory..So being the super-duper agile that Josi is, last Friday in the middle of the routine, she suddenly turned around and went close to a fellow class-goer and started dancing. This took the fello class-goer by a surprise and she fell on the floor. Luckily she was not hurt, and I could burst out laughing safely. It is so funny when people fell un-expectedly..I know..so mean of me..But on the upside, I also laugh when I fall myself..Jay, please do not laugh when people fall until you are big enough to have your own blog and write about it..Addictions are not bad..especially when you discover how mean you can be and dancing is so not your thing..

peace out..

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Bappa

गंपती बाप्पा, गोड मानून घ्या आमचे लाडू
mummy आणि daddy ला बुद्धी द्या जेव्हा आम्ही हात जोडू
 
तसे ठीक आहेत रे ते
आमच्या काही complaints नाहीत
कधी कधी भांडतात थोडे
and thats alright
 
एक सांगू बाप्पा
तुझ्या उंदरासारखा एक उंदीर पाठवशील का रे मला?
दोन नको, एकच पुरे
नाहीतर mummy म्हणेल किती मागशील रे मुला
 
का पाहिजे ते सागतो तुला, दे इकडे तुझा कान
Lego पाहिजे तेव्हा store मध्ये जायला आहे कुठे वाहन?
आता कोण वाट बघणार weekend ची, week केवढा मोठा
आणि Amazon वर shopping करायला मी पडलो छोटा
 
आणि हा, while you are at it
थोडी chocolates पण sanction कर कि आमच्यासाठी
तू पाहिजे तेव्हा लाडू खावेस
मग हे rules का बरे आमच्यासाठी?
 
बाकी सगळे छान चाललाय रे, एक homework सोडला तर
माहीतच आहे ना तुला
but its okay, I will text about that
आता school ला जायचेय रे मला
 
-Jay
 
 

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Lady

Jay, Nina and Mommy playing car car and driving driving..

Jay(driver) : Excuse me, young lady..

Nina and Mommy turn and look at him..

Jay (turning to mommy): Not you, because Nina is the young lady and you are ..

Mommy: I am the old lady

Jay: No, I mean you are not very young lady any more..

:-)

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Turn back, Lucy!

Lucy
U my baby
Me your mom
for sure

I tell-ed you so
when I see-ed you last time
Now if you need a hug, u come to mommy
becuz I donno where I left you behind

Me so busy
and house so big
God, so much work
and so less time

Me finding
U hiding
Is this what I teach-ed you?
pleeez send me a saa-in...

I call
U ig..ign..ignover (Phew!!)
Me waitin..
You cheatin..

P.S: This poem is published in an effort to find Nina's baby doll Lucy who mysteriously gets lost before bed time. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY..

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Blessed Life!

Thirty some years back when she held her second born for the first time, she must have been proud. She must have placed a gentle kiss on those chubby cheeks and said "I love you with all my heart. I will make you a fighter and a dreamer. Never give up my girl!". As she passed her bundle of joy to the father, his face must have been beaming with joy. His gentle eyes must have had a twinkle in them. He must have hugged her and said "welcome..we have been waiting..I promise I will carry you every step of the way..all you have to do is believe.." Someone's two tiny  hands must have been waiting patiently for their turn. As they told their first-born "You are a big sister how..hold hands and always stick together..", she must have understood all that in her own three-year-oldish way and must have smiled. She must have said "I will, I will be with her and share"..and just like that their sweet little family must have felt complete..

Aai, Baba and Tai, thank you for choosing me then..because of you, I am..

Friday, August 3, 2012

Mohini

तिचा विचार केला कि
त्याचे एकदम भान हरपते
तिला मात्र काहीच पत्ता नाही
ती आपले तिचेच काहीतरी करत असते

तो हातातले काम टाकून
तिच्यामागे पळतो
रात्रीवर रात्री
तिच्याच विचारात काढतो

कधी कधी त्याला वाटते
ती कशी एकदम साधी आहे
एक हात जरा पुढे केला कि
तिची माझ्याशीच गट्टी आहे

पण मग कधी कधी
ती फार खडुसगिरी करते
काहीही कारण नसताना
अशीच उगाच अडून बसते

ती हसते, आणि म्हणते
अरे वेड्या, मी नाही खरी, मी तर एक मोहिनी
तरी म्हणाले होते तुला
Resources वाढव आणि time allocate करू नकोस कमी
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is to all your future releases Datta..Cheers and happy project planning!!
-From the Un-Mohini in your life

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

O(h) Glory!!

Dear Jay and Nina,

I wish there was a manual
about how to raise you kids
i wish it was clear and concise
and without a lot of what-ifs

I wish there was a pill I can give you
for breakfast, lunch and dinner
The kind of that is yummy and nutritious
which will make you and me feel like a winner

I wish there was a magic potion
which instead of bath I could spray
foos.. foos.. foos..
and you both would be clean for a day

Cuz clearly I do not understand
what's all the fuss about
On one hand you do not go in the bathtub
and on the other you do not come out..

But then if there was a pill and there was a spray
imagine how un-glorious motherhood would be
without all that counting, talking, explaining and all the other ing-s
Gosh, I would be ..well...so not me...

-Mom

Monday, July 30, 2012

Procrastination 101

Folks, the light of the knowledge inside me is exploding and it's about time I share it with you guys since the elections are approaching or whatever..you must have read a lot of articles about how to procrastinate or how to not procrastinate. But I present you my very own knowledge on how to cope with a spouse who is a procrastinator..you are welcome!

1>First of all, I think the term procrastination should be changed to something neater because the word procrastination makes me want to procrastinate writing this blog somehow..

2>It is not easy to spot people who suffer from procrastination...even if you live with them..so here are some common traits-
    1> They are often soft spoken people
    2> They smile a lot..sometimes it is disturbing why would they smile when they are a number of reasons to get upset about..
    3> They might even have a halo if you look closely..because they think that things fall into place..we should let things happen..and they are right. This world is run mostly by people called un-procrastinators..
    4> They often say "I just want to make a right decision". This is are the most cunning variety of procrastinators my friends..beware..

3> Once you understand that the person is a procrastinator, please do not hold back. It's scary to admit I know..but better late than never..arrange for intervention....do not procrastinate about that..

4> Join a group..The procrastination daily meetings are held at my house every night at 9 PM. If you can not make it, start your own chapter..and NO yelling..so not nice..remember procrastination is a chronic condition guys..breathe..if that does not work..Y.E.L.L.

5> Find a coping mechanism..shopping works for the most part. Or Yoga..and remember just thinking about doing Yoga is as good as actually doing Yoga..or blog..

6> Gender matters. According to the most recent study conducted by the IHaveALotOfTimeToKill group, women are mostly affected by spouses suffering from procrastination. The group belives that the study holds true in all countries until some other group conducts similar studies and proves it wrong that is..

7> Call hotline 1-800-D.E.A.R.S.A.N.G.E.E.T.A.P.L.E.A.S.E.H.E.L.P.M.E. and leave a voicemail..we are there for you 3 hours a day 3 days a week..please keep it to the point. remember blogging is for your ranting..

8> Last but very important, procrastination is highly contagious..So you have to test your immunity often..for example - if you bring ice cream and it remains in the freezer for more than a week, I would say you are showing early signs of procrastination.

Oh you are so welcome!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Rated PG13

M driving N back home one evening...

N: Mamee why you driving so fast?
M: I am driving in the speed limit..
N: No, you driving fast..you want that car to hit our car and make loud noises?
M: No
N: you want to be in accident when that car hits?
M: No
N: You want to be dead?
M: No no
N: you want to be dead on the road for a long time and the blood coming out?
M: Nooooo...
N: Okay, can you give me my sikky cup?? I am hungry..
M: You finished all your milk already..
N: can you go fast? you want me to be hungry?
M: No..

and so on..

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Hey Aajji

Wo आज्जी
uh haa uh haa
Hey Hey आज्जी
uh haa uh haa

I came up with this song just for you
cause you love me and yes, I love you too
uh..haa..uh..haa..
Wo आज्जी , Hey आज्जी
Hey hey आज्जी
uh haa uh haaa

Can I tell you something while I am eating this pie
Air India needs money, but so do I
Why don't we make a deal and just move on
Don't you go early, will you please hang on..
Wo आज्जी , आज्जी भाजी
Uh haa Uh haa

Can we have you for ever and ever
Cuz you are so funny and nice and clever..
I love your tiger roar and yeah that fake burp
u know when you are not here, it's all work work work
आज्जी , hey hey आज्जी भाजी
uh haa uh haaa

मराठी एंक दोन तीन चार पाच
देवा मला बुद्धी दे आणि ऐक माझे आज
कन्नड OneDu TwoDu ThreeDu and FourDu
Air India चा strike होवूदेत, नको विमान सोडू
Hey Hey आज्जी , आज्जी भाजी
uh haan uh haan

तू आणि मी एंक rock star band काढू मस्त
मी cupcakes करेन आणि तू कर फस्त
बघ तुझ्यासाठी मी share करायला झालो तयार
तू राहा इथेच आता नको भाव खाउ फार
Hey Hey आज्जी
आज्जी भाजी
uh haa uh
 
Wo आज्जी
uh haa uh haa
Hey Hey आज्जी
uh haa uh haa

-Love जयडू
P.S: I will also let you win CandyLand if you stay. Only one time..

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Jonathan's mountain

Jonathan loved oak trees..
Not just any oak tree
Only this one
Cause it was a really special one..

It was so tall
soaring high in the sky
And he could see his friend
his friend - Emma - walk by

Emma was so special..
He could tell
She would wave at him
every single time without fail..

Her bus came early
before any other buses came in..
But Emma always looked bright and happy
Determined to take it all in..

her hands flailed in excitement when the bus came
And she wore the most beautiful smile on her face so lit
she wanted to speak thousands of words
But none of them really made it..

She straightened her backpack
and stumbled on the steps
and joined a bunch of kindred souls
welcoming her with loud claps

"bye my sweet friend"
said Jonathan "Have a good time.."
"your mountain is waiting.."
"and so is mine.."

"Oh, I so want to fly to you"
He said looking at his broken wing
"When you come back"
"I will wait for you sure thing"

Jonathan lived on a tree
a beautiful Oak tree..

He loved oak trees..
Not just any oak tree
Only this one
Cause it was a really special one..

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Vacation Day

It must be nice day outside
I can not wait to go on the slide

It's my vacation day afterall
Its six o'clock, I should waste no time at all..

I can hear Nina from the other room
Looks like the party will begin soon

Oh, but wait wait wait
Mom said it's her vacation day, we should sleep in late

no worries.. I will make no sound
I won't wake her up until she comes around

Psssttt Nina, come out, come out
Mommy will wake up soon, please don't pout

A few chairs and blankets on top of it
is all it will take to make our show a big hit

place your hand on the heart and stand by the chair
I will sing the national anthem and I won't be loud, pinky swear

you are the cat and I am the master in our cat show
say Meow and when I pat you, bend real low

drum the plates, bang the sticks for the grand finale my dear
I will play the piano to add some extra flair

a big round of applause
ladies and gentlemen is all I want to hear
oh..who is clapping for real?
mom and dad, I did not even know you were near..

Happy Vacation day everybody!!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Kadhi Kadhi

विराट अचाट अशा या जगात
कसे जखडलो काळाच्या पाशात

सकाळ संध्याकाळ अन मग रात्रीचा मेळ
पुन्हा पुन्हा तोच खेळ

मन मागे आपण पुढे
मन इथे तर आपण तिथे

कुणाला एंक बाबा कुणाला एंक आई
कुणाला दोघेही अन कुणाला कुणीच नाही

प्रश्न किती पण उत्तरे नाहीत
गावेसे वाटले तर सूर जुळत नाही

कोण मित्र अन कोण नाही
शेवटी आपण एकटेच का तेही कळत नाही

कुठली सुरुवात आणि कुठला शेवट
पाहता पाहता वाट गेली सरत

Monday, June 11, 2012

Daddy's Korner

J: Welcome to hat chat everyone..where we bring you the latest sk-oo-p of your home..boy am I getting good at spellings or what..

N: Yes, you are Jay Jay..you are cho sweet..

J: Today's topic is Daddy's k-o-r-n-e-r. Which means daddy has a k-o-r-n-e-r in our house..

N: Hey, I thought Daddy is the boss of the house..How come he has only one k-o-r-n-e-r?

J: have no clue about t-h-a-t. So Daddy's korner is right next to the dinner table. If he spots anything on the dinner table, he does a whole sweeping action -which by the way I love it Daddy in case you are listening - and dumps everything in the korner.

N: yeah yeah, I love it too Daddy. And I love you too Daddy..you are so silly...

J: you see, he loves cleanliness a lot..Mommy told me back when I was a baby..

N: Wait wait..where was I then?

J: clouds I suppose… How was it being there?

N: I have no e-f-g-u.

J: What in the world is e-f-g-u?

N: It is how to spell clue..e-f-g-u..

J: anyways..i-g-n-o-r-e h-e-r...back when I was a baby, I used to play with play dough and then mommy used to ask daddy to clean it. He used to tell her "All done". One day while cleaning, mommy found a pile of play dough under the sofa..see, hall all clean..all the time..cleanliness...I told you..

N: yup..makes yu-u-h-e

J: What ??...whatever that means..Sooo, mommy got a big basket and kept it in the korner so whatever daddy throws goes right in the basket..mommy seems to be getting hang of cleanliness afterall..

N: yeah yeah..Mommy is cho sweet..

J: The pile seems to be getting bigger. Thank god I sit on the opposite side of the table or else I might get buried under it in case it falls..

N: Hey Jay, can I move over to your side of the table?

J: En-O

N: Thanks Jay Jay. You always say yes to me..cho sweet...

Monday, June 4, 2012

Alarming

Note: The conversations in some brackets were said but nobody heard them...
And conversations in some other brackets were also said but nobody heard them..

D: I have a release. I need to go to office at 1 AM tonight..
S: [What??? again?? Does anyone in your office have a life???] huh..
D: I need your phone (Honey)..If I miss my alarm, I will wake up with yours [I hope]
S: (Of course sweetheart)
D: Oh, but wait..how do I switch it off??How do I do it?? [sound of Panic if there is one..]
S: [Oh, for the love of IPhone] you will figure it out..You will get 2 options, Snooze and Dismiss..press Dismiss..Leave it near my pillow when you leave..

12:15 AM
"S" jumps off her bed at the sound of alarm..
S:  you forgot to switch the alarm off???!!!!!!
D: I think I did..[I was not wearing my glasses..I could be that I thought I did but I did not..or maybe I am just hallucinating..]
S: It is blackberry touch screen..you have to really press it press it..[virtual sound of "S" enacting pressing on blackberry at 12:15 AM]
D: [Who in the world presses like that on a touch screen now a days??this is just plain crazy..] huh..So sorry (hun)..
S: Never mind (sweetheart..anything for you..)[You always do that..]

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

From the Kingdom of ALot


Jay heard MommyYellsALot and DaddySleepsALot talking by the end of the day
"JayBug and NinaBallerina haven't been listening" said Mommy "what say?"

"Follow my Mantra" said Daddy "And never ever yell"
"You are doing that a lot, I can tell"

"Uh..oh.." Said Mommy "Here we go"
"I don't yell.." said Mommy "I am actually a very calm person you know"

"I will record it one day" said Daddy "And show it to you"
"Oh come on" said Mommy "That is the worst thing one could do"

"Wo..hay..Wo..Hay" thought Jay "They are talking about us.."
"There are so many nice things to say" he thought "Then why so much fuss??"

Out emerged Jay like a raging dart
"Hey buddy" said Daddy "You you still up, What's up with that?"

"Go to your room NOW and sleep" said Mommy in her booming voice
"This IS yelling you know" said Jay with great big poise

"Um...you are right.." said Mommy  "Let's not fight.."
"Let's all have a good night...let's all sleep tight.."

MommyYellsALot and DaddySleepsALot LearnTheirLessonsALot
MommyLaughtsALot and DaddyPlaysALot
NeverEver(Fought)AndNeverGotCaught

Friday, May 18, 2012

For my boy..

This one is for you Jay Jay..because you and I love the theme song of Thomas and his Friends..And in case you wonder why I wrote this about you, it's because you love putting on stage shows every.single.day at home..which we so dearly love..so here it goes my boy...

They are one, they are two
they are three and six
stamping feet
and thumping fist
blue and pink and pink and blue
they live with parents who don't have a clue
jump and slide and sing and scream
no wonder they are the terrific team
lovely and so hard not to kiss
Jay Jay and his sis

Mommy- she is the sleepy one
Daddy - The funny one under the gun
Jay Jay - wants to put on the show
And Nina - well, let's just say "We don't know"

They are one, they are two
they are three and six
stamping feet
and thumping fist
blue and pink and pink and blue
they live with parents who don't have a clue
jump and slide and sing and scream
no wonder they are the terrific team
lovely and so hard not to kiss
Jay Jay and his sis

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A day is a day is a day

Guys sorry if I am offending anyone with this post which is clearly not my intention because my opinion is my opinion and your opinion is just that..your opinion..only that my opinion is right..haaa haaa..Soooo, long story short I think I am setting my kids up to be failures in life very early on..and you all have a hand in it one way or the other..(Scroll 3 lines above and spot the word Sorry)
Here is what happened
Day before mother's day-
Mommy: Jay, Please keep your bowl in the sink.
Jay: No
(I was happy he answered in the first place, but why is the answer No?)
Mommy: Why?
Jay: Mother's day is tomorrow...

A week before Christmas-
Mommy: Jay I see that you are not listening today. Please pick up your toys.
Jay: If I behaved well in next week starting tomorrow, I am sure Santa going to give me a gift.

Sooooo whoever came up with this mother's day concept is clearly not my friend....why oh why would you bring this one more day in the world full of days already? Don't we have enough? Like “Mon” day and “Tues” Day and stuff?
I would like to propose to you guys to not make a big deal about these things if you are my friend (on Facebook that is..) Let's just all have a day and then call it a day and then move on to another day...shall we??

P.S: Day fairy, in case you are listening, Jay and Nina did some research with their classmates and found out that they (??) don't have brother's day and sister's day..pretty upsetting..please add it to your TO DO list..ASAP..

Monday, May 14, 2012

Prem

भर दुपारची वेळ
आणि घरातले प्रेम संपत आलेले
आणावे मागून कुणा कडून
अडचणीच्या काळाची आत्ताच ठेवावी तरतूद करून

मिळेल कि प्रेम
साखर नाही का मिळत
फार तर काय होईल
लोक म्हणतील वेडी आहे, हिला कसे काहीच नाही कळत

रणरणत्या उन्हात निघाले तशीच
पायात चपला
डोक्यावर टोपी
थोडेतरी प्रेम मिळेलच ह्या खुशीत

समोरच्या घरी जावे
तिथे नक्कीच मिळेल
उगीच नाही गळ्यात गले असतात त्य्नाचे
प्रेम कसे ओसंडून वाहत असेल

हात तिथेच थबकला
दारावरची बेल वाजवताना
ती जोर जोरात रडत होती
आणि तो सुन्न पणे बसला होता
आज भांडणानंतर कोणाचाच मूड उरला नव्हता

बघा म्हणजे
घरोघरी मातीच्याच चुली
जिथे आशेने जावे
तिथेच कशी होते मी हिरमुसली

शेजारी जावून पाहावे
माहित नाही प्रेम मिळेल का
दमलेली बायको आणि त्रासलेला नवरा
कदाचित दोघा मुलांकडे थोडा लोभ असेल उरला

खिडकीजवळ पाय थबकले
समोरचे दृश्य बघून
दोघे आरामात दिसावली होती
आपल्या चिमण्यांना कुशीत घेउन

दमलेले चेहरे
थकलेला श्वास
हळूच पकडलेले हात
आणि चेहऱ्यावर समाधानाची बरसात

परत फिरले
आणि तो दिसला
तीच भेदक नजर
आणि तोच आत्मविश्वास चेहऱ्यावर

म्हणालाअग वेडे, प्रेम शोधत होतीस तर
एकदा घरी तरी नीट बघायचे
दारी तुझ्या कल्पवृक्ष
आणि उगाच दुसरी कडे  कशाला शोधायचे

धावले त्याच्याकडे
आणि कडकडून मारली मिठी
म्हणाले - अरे कुठून आली एव्हढी समज तुझ्याकडे
अन इतकी मिठास वाणी

माफ कर मला
मी एंक सामान्य माणूस
नाही बघितला दारातला प्राजक्ताचा सडा
आणि नाहीच कळले आपले माणूस