Do I know you?

Turns out, I don't know my own son anymore..My perfect 5 year old has turned into a giant whining machine..he has a giant whining pipe and 99 out of 100 times he is aiming to shoot it at no one else but his own mom..It does not matter why and whom he is upset about..(Datta, now I know how you feel about me...but that in no way means I will change my behavior..so-ree buddy)

Every evening when I pick him up from school, he looks like a perfectly adorable sweet boy nodding his head and then saying have a good night to his teachers and five minutes later..you know what i mean...Don't you? Do I know him? I dont think so...But he definitely is showing some familiar traits which closely resemble his own mom..BTW whoever came up with terminology of terrible twos must have given up giving names for further age groups..but I am not gonna quit..It is called ferocious fives..

Never been dumped before..

Yesterday turned out to be the climax of movie "Never been dumped before" for me..
When you are a five year old who just started kindergarten and cannot nap the entire day and do not have a single ounce of energy left but still want to play on the swing forever and have a mommy who would like to get home sometime ..this is what it boils down to..when mommy says "Jay it is time to go home " and starts walking..

Jay follows her and tells her (BTW he is so irritated with my behavior he does not even want to talk to me, but has to give me a peace of mind anyways..)

"mum-meee..I am naat goin to marry YOU...I am going to marry daddy.."

Never been dumped before...dont know how to handle this.. :-(

School is for mommy to grow up..

4th day of school in Kindergarten. Jay - a kid that hardly waves back at you when you wave Hi or Bye to him..he hardly even notices you or shows any kind of emotion on his face what.so.ever when his friend of almost 5 yrs meets or greets him in the elevator..

Jay met Jordon in school aftercare. Jordon is his ex-classmate. Jordon told Jay - his brother Jayden (who is merely 8 yrs old BTW) has 6 girlfriends..(I imagined jay's jaw dropping)..whoa..no kidding..later during the day Jay got a chance to meet the army of girlfriends..Jay said over-enthusiasctically .."Mommy, one of them waved at me!" so, I asked "And then what happened?" Jay replied "I waved back" (my turn to drop the jaw).. Jay continued "Two others kept staring at me for no reason..haaa haaa..no kidding.."

Kindergarten is hard..for me..

My work here is done...

On daily basis it is struggle to keep Jay and Nina walk from the day care door through the parking lot towards the car. They skip, bounce, jump in puddles, run like wild animals, freeze at times. My heart rate is on a high drive until they are tucked in their car seats. Yesterday was a whole another ball game though. Jay walked slowly, looked for cars approaching, went near the car and waited. Nina walked along my side and walked quietly until she was on Jay's side. I was close to having tears in my eyes...is this for real?

Mommy: Wow Jay, you walked like a very responsible person today.
Jay  : Yes, mommy. I did not run. I looked on the left and then on the right and then crossed the road. And Nina will learn from me and then do the same. We do not need you anymore.

what else does a mom want to hear at the end of the day?

Almost there!

Life has been a roller coaster lately..actually for last 12 yrs or so. Once in a while I get this urge to write about something and then the other times I get to make fun about what I wrote in the past. Don't you always laugh when you look at your old photos? It's kind of that.

When I read what I wrote, I am like "Whoa! what was I thinking???.." anyways..
It was high time I start the PT for Nina. For those of you lounging on your comfy sofa with no kids running around, PT stands for Potty Training. Our house has 2 hot spots..we always hang out there..2 bathrooms..yes, the place where everything happens..or should I say supposed to happen..but does not sometimes..haaa haaa..

So little Nina was fed up of giving me hints that she hates diapers and then she was fed up of saying "Mommy, I do not want to wear diapers". So, I could not run away from taking on that task anymore..Potty training is not for kids..It is for parents. You have to let go of whatever freedom you have got to wander around your own house without worrying where your diaper clad child is..This is a serious business. No
questions. In the last 5 years, 2 words have been the most spoken words in our (Datta and Myself) conversations. They both start with "P"..On some days, that is all we talk about..that is if we get a chance to talk..

There are great many things I discover when I start projects like this. Can you even imagine simple things like walking, eating, drinking from a cup and using restrooms were once upon a time not easy for us to do? It is simply amazing to me that we learnt all this when we were so small. This is not just training to use restroom, this is about listening to your body, listening to your parents, finding out what happens as a consequence of some decisions we take and finally moving on..

Having said that Nina is having a time of her life as usual. She is no way takes this seriously because she has no idea what serious means. With her little wit she figures out what kind of action gets maximum attention from her parents and she has fun watching us running around like crazy people when time calls for it (you know what I mean..) She has mastered the art of ingnoring me selectively. Read this typical
conversation I have with her (mostly one way conversation)

Mommy: Nina, do you want to use restroom?
Nina (in her mind): what if I blow bubbles now with Jay? Won't that be super fun? 

After half an hour...
Mommy: Nina, I think you should go to restroom.
Nina (in her mind): somehow I think pink play dough tastes way better than the yellow one..never tried blue though...

after half an hour...
Mommy: Nina, Let me take you to restroom. We will all clap if you go to restroom...
Nina (in her mind): Clap? what is she thinking? Clap is so old..I was hoping she would say chocolate or something..

After 15 minutes:
Mommy: Nina, I am going to take you to restroom NOW.. otherwise..
Nina (in her mind): Oh, so this is what happens..no worries..kind of having fun watching mommy run...I don't like this wet pink pant that I am wearing, but in any case I want it back..same pant please..just not so wet..But SAME PANT...

Nina : SAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME PAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT mommy...I want it..I WANT IT BACK...

I am so there with her on this one thing..I want it back..Don't we all want something back?

Curious Jay has breakfast with Mommy

Back in Nina-About-To-Be-Born era....

This is Jay. he is a good little boy and always very curious. One day when the lady with pregnant belly a.k.a his mom - had a day off, she took him out for breakfast to his favorite place - DunkinDonut. Little Jay was excited to see all those donuts. He especially liked the one with chocolate and sprinkles on it. Mommy bought him one just like that.

Jay finished the chocolate and sprinkles in no time. Mommy pleaded Jay to eat everything, but sometimes little boys cannot concentrate.. So out they came in the parking lot ready to go home..Just then, Jay thought - Hey, why not have another donut just like that? So, he asked mommy for one more..Mommy tried all sorts of things to distract him, but sometimes little boys can concentrate on only one thing - chocolate donut with sprinkles on it...so off they went - back in the store and stood in a big line behind a man who was watching the whole drama in the parking lot..

he smiled at mommy and said "So, you are having another one, huh?"..Mommy said "yeah, you see he wants another one with chocolate and sprinkles on.." and he started laughing very hard..after a few seconds he said "No no no..i meant you are having another baby...."..and now it was mommy's turn to laugh..Curious Jay stood there watching mommy laugh loudly and could never figure out why she did so..but sometimes little boys don't care about other things if they are surrounded by donuts..

hey you all..

Hey yo all..It's me..nee na dixit..
Maami has been sick lately..so I thot I shud assume the respos...responsee..hang on...respossibileetee (phew!!) of writing on her blog..I can tell she is getting old..yes, she has dark circles around her eyes..and Jay and I have spotted her murmuring to herself sometimes..something along the lines of "tuzi sasu kande khai"..whatever that means..Jay and I sometimes stand in stasion...stas..stationaree elevator because
maami does not press any floor buttons and keeps sighing..The other day while I was screaming for my milk bottle, she walked right past me and handed over the bottle to daddy..and daddy took it..yeah..what's up with that daddy..not cool..and maami you not nice too..there was no need to laugh that hard..

And then there are things maami and daddy want me to do that don't make sense..like for eggxampal, she wants me to have a bowl full of cereal early in the morning..yeah..you see what I am talking about..I am pretty happy with my milk bottle if you ask me..no cereal..thank you very much..leave.me.alone.with.my.milk.bottle..pluhleeze..

And what's up with that thing called "Sharing"? huh? Don't you think if you buy two of each life will be simple? Two of each toy..two of each book..two of each crayon..does not sound that complicated to me..sure you can buy that much..I thot that is whole point of you guys going to that place called..umm..what is it called...wait a minute..it will come to me...yeah..that place called Ophis..go to Ophis and buy us two of each..

Rest all is fine so far..I just love my daddy, my maami and my Jay Jay..Only sometimes when I go to sleep at night, I am scared maami will vanish in thin air when I wake up, so I check on her every hour or so at night..I say to her "hey maami, you ok? good..now go back to sleep"..I know it's hard work to keep an eye on maami, but hey a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do..know what i mean?

anywhooooo..will see you again..have a zubee dubee day yo all..

Still-The-Ones

He lets go and she makes a big deal..
He is a goofball and she takes it way too seriously..
He does very less talking..she does a lot in given time when time comes..
He drives so well and she is bad at even giving directions..
She says this is not working because you did/did not............and he says well, what can we do about it now?
She loves to argue and he thinks it is waste of time, but never tells her that..
She hates winter and snow and he says are you kidding? it looks beautiful out there..
He is never on time and she is never on time (because of him)..
He takes a big pause before he writes her birth day and month on any paper....and oddly enough she thinks it's funny..
He is simple, and she is..well..
He is easy to figure out and don't even get me started about her..
He really is from mars and she cannot figure out where is she from..

12 years and 2 kids later, they are still still-the-ones..
So, this is for you, Datta..Cheers to 12 years of friendship..and look forward to many more..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COiIC3A0ROM

Breakup

It's been a while we since broke up..I can talk about it now..

I still remember the last time we met. It was a sad and gloomy day. We knew for days in advance that we will part our ways, but there was still some hope until the very last minute. We were both sad and broken and could not utter a word to each other. We looked at each other with that familiar precious look..We had no hopes or expectations from each other..We knew we will cross paths again..when and in what condition is never known..

In so many ways we are so meant to be together but we have been on and off a number of times. So much was being offered to me, but I don't know what I want. I can be my own childish self again when we are together, but I have things to take care of..I am pampered and loved, but of course all that cannot be true..can life be this beautiful and interesting all the time? That is not real..i run away from it..We both know this..this is what I do..We have been there and done that..

We held hands, we hugged, we cried and we parted our ways..I felt like I was freezing..I wanted to run away from this moment of parting..For some time I did not understand why people were smiling, I did not understand why they were eating, I did not understand how they can sleep so well ..I did not know what was I doing on my own..But I made it through this far..again..

It's been a while since we broke up..with India that is..I can talk about it now..

Luxurious life

Now that our youngest one has passed all stages of her infancy, I feel like life has become luxurious. Since I did not waste any occasion in the last several years to complain about how hard everything is, I think I owe it to my luxurious life to say thank you at least once. So here it goes - Thank you!
1> I now know that taking bath once per day is not a miracle. I still get haunted by voices calling me and sound of loud banging on the door, but singing always helps.
2> I now recognize Datta as a person whom I met in my early 20s. No, he is not a helper God sent for me when the whole diaper changing marathon began back in 2006.
3> I have 2 hands all for myself (most of the times)..
4> Chairs can be used for sitting. And yes, sitting is so much more pampering than I ever thought it would be.
5> Food tastes way better when eaten from a plate.
6> If you leave a voicemail for me, I guarantee that your call with be returned in no later than 10 business days. When I call, at least 10 words per minute will be audible for a human ear.
7> I almost certainly come to know by the end of the day when I am wearing a pair of socks that do not match.
8> I know now that there are friends around me who do not go by the names like "nebulizer", "nasal spray" and "thermometer" and thank God they speak human.

So, this is to you my luxurious life..Cheers!
PS: God, my loving daughter has whole heartedly taken it upon herself to host "The late night show with Jay Dixit" after he decided to step down. May I puh-leeez get a break?

Jay#

Hi all! I am Jay and I am the ultimate cleaning machine you can ever think of. I have a bunch of cleaning supplies. Vacuums, brushes, brooms..you name it, I have it..mommy says I make a whole lot of mess, but that is the whole point. You make a mess, you clean it, you make a mess, you clean it, you make a mess and sometimes don't clean it..
I have a daddy, mommy and sis Nina. I call her "Neen". She is something. She comes to same school and we see each other at the playground. She screams "daaadaaa, dada..." over and over again like she has not seen me in months. I guess she loves me or may be she loves screaming. Like when we are in the car on our way back home, she is into screaming a lot. When I grow up to be above 18 years and drive a car, I am going to keep her car seat in the front seat so she can look around..whilemean (as per mommy it is meanwhile, but i go by my rules) you will have to be in the back seat Neen..you get what you get and you don't get upset..yeah..enough screaming Neen..
I love airplanes, snow plows, trains, buses. When I grow up, I am going to have my own airliner called "Air Hoss". Hoss because it will have a lot of cute air hostesses in it..
I can make snow plow out of anything, yeah, it's an art. Mommy branged 3 snow plows for me so far. She buyed it from the Amazon Toys R Us in Hoboken.
I love to sing..I am always singing..mommy says it will be okay if I don't study too much and become a singer or something..boy she is an inspiration, isn't she?
Daddy is funny..when mommy asks him to do something, he waves his hand like a military man and says "yes, madam" which mommy never likes. So, please stop doing it daddy. Not fair to mommy.
All in all, it is a wonderful life..busy, but cool..All Izz well..Have a hot dog day!

Mr. McSpringy

Its that time again! The days of feeling good standing next to a car's exhaust are long gone. With another winter under my belt, I am ready to talk about weather without sighing..come on friends let's talk weather..

Welcome to our lives Mr. McSpringy!! I have not waited for anything to happen as much as I did for you to come..I love the long days, the great sunshine, the birds chirping in the early morning. I love to watch the geese playing in the river when my kids take me out for a walk..I love to hear from kids that I picked them up early since the sun is still shining bright in the sky...You have changed me into a totally new person..

Someone whose name starts with "W" knocked the wind out us this year. Mr. McSpringy, can you please come a little early next year and stay a little longer?

So long, Mr. W...please be nice to us next year.

P.S: Jay, please don't get upset with mommy. Mommy also loves watching snow plows..only when they are not working..

My best maami and daddy

Dear Jay and Nina,

It's been raining ..all day long..

My best daddy lives in my memories..I never get to see him or talk to him..

My best maami lives in India. Far far away. thousands of miles away..I want to call her everyday..but sometimes I don't...when I am busy..When I call her the next day, I ask "maami, did you wait for my call yesterday?" She smiles and says "I knew you must be busy.." Sometimes I don't call her for 2 days in a row and then she leaves me a loving voicemail "Hope you are fine. worried about you." Then I call her and talk to her about all sorts of things..silly things, serious things, important things, not-so-important things, routine things and we have a ball..when I disconnect I realize I did not even ask her how she was. So i call her back and ask "maami, how are you? Have you been sleeping well? Have you been eating okay?" and I know her eyes get all teary and her voice turns all thick and heavy..and I know she is proud of me..She has always been. Sometimes she says "It's raining here and I thought about you all day", I choke and quickly change the subject as I remember all those stormy monsoon nights she held me close to her heart so I won't get scared..

You remember you learnt what "waiting" is in the Dr.Seuss book? She does a lot of that..waiting gracefully..waiting like it is a celebration..she waits to see me smile, she waits to pat my back, she waits to stroke my hair. When you were about to come in our lives, maami and daddy learnt that too..we celebrated waiting for you to be born, we celebrated waiting for you to take first steps, we celebrated waiting for you to talk and we will do that always and forever..When I leave my maami, I cry. She hugs me tight and says "find happiness. be nice. don't do this to yourself. Where is the happy face?" The way I feel when you cry sometimes on your way to school..

When you grow up and won't spend much time with maami and daddy, remember we will always wait for you no matter what and you can always come back to us. And when we are not around, you can be each others maami and daddy..be nice and stick together my babies..

It's been raining ..And I miss my best maami and daddy...all day long..

Let go

I should really get this done fast..before she catches me doing it..pick one straw out and quickly place the box it back in the cabinet like nothing ever happened..I feel someone tugging my shirt and I turn around and there she was..she caught me this time too. With a firm voice, she said
"I doooooo yit, maami" (BTW, I never mentioned this before, but I am starting to think Nina has a bit of southren accent, so this sounds like "aa dooo yit")
"I dooooo yit, maami"
"No no Nina, mommy is already done picking the straw for you.."
"I doooooo yit, maami"
"No Nina, take this one"

Now she is irritated, she grabs the big box of straws and pulls it, I start pulling from the other end.
"Let go, maami"
I pull harder..
"Let go, maami"
Jay is speechless looking at us..

if I let go, she will pick each straw, twist it and put it in her mouth and then put them back in..my straws will all get twisted and dirty..oh noo..my straws..my..wait a minute..who is the toddler here? it is really worth worrying about the straws than letting my daughter experiment with her newfound freedom..let go..let go..

so, I let go..
Nina cannot believe that..
"Nina dooo yit?"
"yes, Nina"
"Nina pick staw?"
"yes"

she flashes a huge grin and carefully examines the box..she shakes it hard..not bad..let go...let go..
she looks at most of them without taking them out..yay...let go..let go...
she carefully grabs a blue straw and gives the box back to me..

"I done. yellow staw"
"u done, Nina?"
"yeah.."
"really?"
"yeah.."
"are you ...." she has exited the room..

I dreamed a dream..

Imagine me singing "I dreamed a dream" like Susan Boyle..for those busy souls who don't know who she is (yet) here is a link to see how stars are discovered. click it..right now..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

so, I dreamed a dream that my little ones will sleep peacefully in the crib like the babies they show in the commercials. Nina comes with her own set of rules and no body can change them..no body..
When she was tiny, after placing her in the crib (when she is in the deep sleep), she would magically wake up and scream in less than 10 minutes. Crib was mainly used to keep Nina in it when she had blissfully finished most of her sleep and it was "okay" if she would wake up. If she was awake and I dared to put her in the crib, she started giving me "you think this is gonna work lady?" looks. So the lady gave up on her dream. From that point on the crib has become the most versatile piece in my house. No kidding. read this-
1> Have lot of clothes you cannot fold right away? (or may be until not at all), dump them in the crib. There is plenty of space.
2> Have clothes which are not yet fully dry? no issues..hang them on the crib..
3> Have to take a bathroom break when at home with 2 kids? crib to the rescue. keep the little one in the crib and rush..(caution: this only works until the older one has not yet figured out how to scoop up the little one from there)
4> Are you an avid hide-and-seek player? you know where the best spot to hide is..
5> After your little ones almost forget that it ever existed, you can even hide Christmas or birthday gifts there and no one will ever know they were there for like weeks..
see, i told you ..don't you get disheartened if you are faced with crib-o-phobic kids..there is always a brighter side.
so all would be parents who are thinking of buying a beautiful magnificent crib, really think twice..Do your clothes really care about how beautiful the place is where they end up after they are out of the dryer?

I met him again...

Some days start like a war zone..Jay had been complaining about severe pain in his eye and Nina's crankometer was high too. I applied for a day off and prepared myself to drop Nina at the day care so I can cater to Jay. Every time I drop one of the kids to day care when I am at home, my heart sinks. It has been 5 years, but I am still not used to it. But I was in no way to going to take her to the deadly germ exchange place called THE DOCTORS..
so we drop Nina and Jay and I make our way to the car. As I was about to start the car, Jay whispered "Mommy, it's just you and me.." I turned to look at him..Excitement was pouring from his pain stricken eye..We knew it was going to be our special day.
As we sat at the doctor's he sat on my lap with his cheeks rubbing against mine for a long time. As we went to the pharmacy, we strolled the aisles like we are on a picnic. As we came home, we both acknowledged the strange silence that prevailed in the house with no Nina around. Before I knew it, Jay has become the only baby around. Just like he was before Nina came into picture. My innocent, cheerful, sweet little
buddy had returned. There was nobody telling him to share, to be careful around Nina...We played like goofballs, sang songs like babies, ate our favorite food, cuddled and took a wonderful nap. Before we knew it, it was time to pick Nina up.
As I was putting Jay to bed at night, Jay said softly "Mommy, I had the best day ever. I wish there are more days like this.." I hugged him tight..
Some days start like a war zone, but turn out to be a blessing in disguise..

What in the world

What in the world is happening to us?
you may not believe it, but I am a bit excited to enter the bus every day. Immediately as I enter, I scan the entire bus (kinda like Arnold Schwarzenegger does in Terminator), left to right, back to front. Blackberry, iPhone, iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, Kindle, iPod, iPhone, iPhone...u get the idea..
When I was growing up (which BTW was long time back) software engineering was a hot profession. If there is anything today, it is going to be doctors who treat neck and spinal cord injuries, seriously, you young generation, think about this..
People are texting, calling and reading while climbing up and down the stairs. Seriously, would you rather have a foot injury than having some digitally close friend of yours wait for 3 extra minutes? One fine morning as I was walking to work, I saw a guy talking on this phone hands free holding a bag in one hand. It was a busy intersection. It went like this. He said (yelled) -
"So this guy thinks he is some"
"I said, this guy thinks he is some"
"I am saying, this guy thinks he is some"
His pitch increased each time. I felt like I should walk to him and hold his hands and talk to him - kind of like an intervention.."Sir, he seriously cannot hear you. He just CANNOT. He is trying. So would you be darling enough and cut him some slack please?"
But you cannot beat what I experienced one day.
Gym
Pilates class.
Cat pose.
Breath in..breath out.....
and there she was..the ultimate multitasking machine of the modern era typing emails away with one hand like there is no tomorrow. Seriously God, is this world coming to an end soon or is there someone in her office saying "geez, I know Elizabeth told me she was going to the gym, but I wish she really answers my email like this very moment"..F5..refresh..F5..refresh..."Lizzy dear, you checking your emails yet?"
Why can't we wait and enjoy the moment? What is this obsession about getting back and being involved ? What is this fear of missing out on something like it is some big party? what is...oh..wait a minute..um...looks like I got SMS..oh sure, it can wait..but that red star on my blackberry is calling me with all its might and I have to get rid of it...I just have to..will be right back ;-)

Little Kids Rock!!

A typical 8 PM weekday scene at our home..
I am working in kitchen to pack lunch for everyone. Jay is playing in the living room and he is singing. Nina is playing in living room talking to her imaginary friend.
Suddenly she emerges in the kitchen announcing "maami, poopies.." she points her finger towards her diaper (yeah, like I don't know where)
Jay comes and tells me matter of factly "yeah, that's true. Nina has stinky poopies"
Nina runs like a dart in other rooms thinking I will follow her. No no missy, I am not giving in to that one.
She returns to the kitchen and says "maami, poopies"
I grab her and rush towards the room to change her. Jay senses something interesting is going to happen and runs along.
Now Nina is screaming her head off while I am changing her diaper and her butt is in air at times. Jay is singing loudly to match her pitch and jumping over her.
Towards the end of diaper changing, I announce to ..oh..BTW, did I tell you Datta was working on this laptop like 2 feet away from this whole situation. So, I announce it to him "Datta, I am this close to losing it."
Nina is too young to understand what it means and Datta knows I have already lost it, but seems like Jay is catching up with me on that one. He looks at me like "you gonna lose it mommy? what if you lose it and do not get it back? I dont want to live with a crazy woman as my mom..dont lose it.."
There is silence, I pick Nina up and Jay follows. Suddenly, she puts her tiny hand on my hair and says "maami tayad? (tired) maami hungy? (hungry)?"
I do not believe she said that to me.
Jay puts his hands on my cheeks and says "reeeeeeeeee lax mommy, go to sleep"
OMG, kids are so natural in telling us how simple love can be.
what if when Datta walks in the house after a long day at work, I ask him "tayad? hungy?". Will that be magical for him?
I have yet to try...

An Affair to remember

I am having an affair..there I said it..an affair with sleep...it’s been going on for years...I long for it..I am so happy when I get it..I day dream about it and I am miserable when I don’t get it..It must have started about 5 years back when Jay was born as a baby who never slept anywhere other than lap and as a baby who needed to be fed almost continuously. I remember during the first week after his birth, he would even scream on the lap while sleeping and my mom said to me "oh..poor baby..he cannot get proper position to sleep..". I looked at her like I cannot make sense of this entire world and said "but, what about me?" I think she expected this question from me..she patted gently on my shoulder and said "HE is a baby"..Then came Nina who looks like made a pact with Jay when in womb about not sleeping and when she would scream and not sleep anywhere but on the lap, Jay asked me "mommy, why is she crying? She can sleep ..." I gently patted on his shoulder and told him "SHE is a baby." at least I had learnt my lesson.
Although the days of dozing off while having an infant is on my lap are long gone, sleep is still not a guaranteed thing for me. Winters are hard. Nina wakes up which is alright, I make her sleep, wrap myself up in warm blanket and close my eyes and there she goes again..why would this baby wait until I am so comfortable in my bed and then wake up? Why can't she wake up immediately?
Last week at wee hours in morning, when I had put Nina to sleep successfully, I was thinking about my sleep issues and then it dawned on me. I had read an article about why human beings eat so much even if they are not hungry. It was related to ancient age humans when they had to hunt animals for survival and getting food was not a guaranteed thing for them. So, when they got something to eat, they ate a lot because they were never sure when they would eat next. Looks like I am on the right path after all. An affair with sleep is not a bad at all.
For all the tiny babies out there..Shhhh...Sleep and let sleep........

Fighting..or lack of it..

I gotta say it..I love fighting..arguing...not leaving my point...always saying why? I did use to enjoy this until I got married. Then fighting became a totally different animal..you know when you play a game of squash alone? you are banging the ball against the wall and sometimes, if you hit it right way, you will get a second chance, otherwise, you are out of luck. Our fights are like that. I am fighting and arguing without any counter arguments..
then in the end..there is always a question "so, what do you want me to do?"
excuse me?
what do I want you to do?
fight man, fight...
okay, if not a real fight, I can even take this kind of fight, but I need to fight..even if it is in any shape or form..how hard can it be to fight when you have kids..it is next to impossible..but I still try to make my point heard..
last week I was having healthy (according to me) argument with Datta. I was standing and Datta was sitting on a chair..and Jay was in the middle. He looked at us like spectators look at tennis match, then he tugged my shirt and said "excuse me, mommy, are you guys fighting?", I said "Yes, Jay, I am fighting with daddy". He quickly ran to his dad, put his little hand over Datta's shoulder and said "Now Mommy, why are making my Daddy sad in the middle of the day by fighting with him? Be nice." So there I went "Sorry Jay and sorry Daddy"
There are times I get this strong urge to make my points and be heard, and then I think let kids sleep and then I will bring it up..then at about 9:30 PM, I ask my self, think about this woman, would you rather fight or sleep and the answer is undoutably sleep..kids can make miracles happen for Datta..

Amazing Human Beings

This week has been good so far. I mean it. Day before yesterday Datta came back from office in the eve and as he entered the door Nina went running to him and said "I love your shoes, Daddy". Datta stood there is total disbelief. We gave each other a mommy-daddy look and smiled. The other day I got a small boo boo and Nina came running to me and said "mommy, u okay?" Jay went running to the freezer and got ice pack for me and applied it on my boo boo. How cool is all that?
It has been a tough job to give bath to Nina lately. It takes about an hour. I try to coax her into taking bath peacefully. I give her lot of options, I let her choose some toys and her clothes, but nothing seems to make her want to take bath. I try all that peacefully for almost half an hour and then I turn into a totally different person. I got job to finish. I pick her up, pay no attention to her crying "Nooooo", take her into the bath tub and pour water on her. Sometimes she even has her clothes on. Then she ties to climb out of the tub and sit on my lap and I try to keep her in the tub and finish everything. She is crying the entire time. One day this week, I could see Jay getting upset and sad just looking at her. He came and said to her "Nina, you know you have to take bath everyday right? So, why dont you stop crying and enjoy these 15 minutes?". She suddenly stopped. I think little people listen to little people better. Jay asked her "Do you want me to hug you?". She said "yeah". He hugged her and then kept patting her gently and sang "A B C D" to her until I was done with my job. My boy saved me from the rest of the crying..
Now..moving on to incident number 2. Nina and Jay having a friendly fight like lion's cubs do. I was watching them from a distance. Suddenly the situation turned volatile. Jay would walk with her in parallel and then cross her path pushing her purposely and would go on his merry way. Sometimes when she fell down, he would fall near her and would not let her stand up with his legs on top of her legs. He paid no attention to her yelling "No, dada, stop, not nice, tine-out (it means timeout in Nina++ language)". He was actually very happy to see her fall and cry and be helpless.
How can the same person who is so gentle and supportive turn into this person who is mean and almost unreachable? Then I thought, isn't that true with all of us? We are so loving and gentle at times and at times we turn into these mean people. He is making her ready for this world. It is tough out there sister. You better learn it now from me than from anyone else.
It must be tough to be 1 year old and 4 year old. Sometimes when kids are crying and I see that helpless expression in their innocent eyes (after the first few minutes of them yelling because of anger ofcourse), I tightly hug them, and whisper in their ears "it is okay. I know it is hard. Mommy is here."
Admit it..you know that there is at least 2 people living inside of us. One who does things and the other who watches the first one do things. When I do something good, I see the other Sangeeta smiling at me. When I do something bad, I see her telling me in calm and firm voice "you know what you did. It is time to make it right". Until my kids are old enough to find that other person inside them, I need to be that person, right?