Monday, February 28, 2011

I dreamed a dream..

Imagine me singing "I dreamed a dream" like Susan Boyle..for those busy souls who don't know who she is (yet) here is a link to see how stars are discovered. click it..right now..

so, I dreamed a dream that my little ones will sleep peacefully in the crib like the babies they show in the commercials. Nina comes with her own set of rules and no body can change body..
When she was tiny, after placing her in the crib (when she is in the deep sleep), she would magically wake up and scream in less than 10 minutes. Crib was mainly used to keep Nina in it when she had blissfully finished most of her sleep and it was "okay" if she would wake up. If she was awake and I dared to put her in the crib, she started giving me "you think this is gonna work lady?" looks. So the lady gave up on her dream. From that point on the crib has become the most versatile piece in my house. No kidding. read this-
1> Have lot of clothes you cannot fold right away? (or may be until not at all), dump them in the crib. There is plenty of space.
2> Have clothes which are not yet fully dry? no issues..hang them on the crib..
3> Have to take a bathroom break when at home with 2 kids? crib to the rescue. keep the little one in the crib and rush..(caution: this only works until the older one has not yet figured out how to scoop up the little one from there)
4> Are you an avid hide-and-seek player? you know where the best spot to hide is..
5> After your little ones almost forget that it ever existed, you can even hide Christmas or birthday gifts there and no one will ever know they were there for like weeks..
see, i told you ..don't you get disheartened if you are faced with crib-o-phobic kids..there is always a brighter side.
so all would be parents who are thinking of buying a beautiful magnificent crib, really think twice..Do your clothes really care about how beautiful the place is where they end up after they are out of the dryer?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I met him again...

Some days start like a war zone..Jay had been complaining about severe pain in his eye and Nina's crankometer was high too. I applied for a day off and prepared myself to drop Nina at the day care so I can cater to Jay. Every time I drop one of the kids to day care when I am at home, my heart sinks. It has been 5 years, but I am still not used to it. But I was in no way to going to take her to the deadly germ exchange place called THE DOCTORS..
so we drop Nina and Jay and I make our way to the car. As I was about to start the car, Jay whispered "Mommy, it's just you and me.." I turned to look at him..Excitement was pouring from his pain stricken eye..We knew it was going to be our special day.
As we sat at the doctor's he sat on my lap with his cheeks rubbing against mine for a long time. As we went to the pharmacy, we strolled the aisles like we are on a picnic. As we came home, we both acknowledged the strange silence that prevailed in the house with no Nina around. Before I knew it, Jay has become the only baby around. Just like he was before Nina came into picture. My innocent, cheerful, sweet little
buddy had returned. There was nobody telling him to share, to be careful around Nina...We played like goofballs, sang songs like babies, ate our favorite food, cuddled and took a wonderful nap. Before we knew it, it was time to pick Nina up.
As I was putting Jay to bed at night, Jay said softly "Mommy, I had the best day ever. I wish there are more days like this.." I hugged him tight..
Some days start like a war zone, but turn out to be a blessing in disguise..

Friday, February 18, 2011

What in the world

What in the world is happening to us?
you may not believe it, but I am a bit excited to enter the bus every day. Immediately as I enter, I scan the entire bus (kinda like Arnold Schwarzenegger does in Terminator), left to right, back to front. Blackberry, iPhone, iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, Kindle, iPod, iPhone, iPhone...u get the idea..
When I was growing up (which BTW was long time back) software engineering was a hot profession. If there is anything today, it is going to be doctors who treat neck and spinal cord injuries, seriously, you young generation, think about this..
People are texting, calling and reading while climbing up and down the stairs. Seriously, would you rather have a foot injury than having some digitally close friend of yours wait for 3 extra minutes? One fine morning as I was walking to work, I saw a guy talking on this phone hands free holding a bag in one hand. It was a busy intersection. It went like this. He said (yelled) -
"So this guy thinks he is some"
"I said, this guy thinks he is some"
"I am saying, this guy thinks he is some"
His pitch increased each time. I felt like I should walk to him and hold his hands and talk to him - kind of like an intervention.."Sir, he seriously cannot hear you. He just CANNOT. He is trying. So would you be darling enough and cut him some slack please?"
But you cannot beat what I experienced one day.
Pilates class.
Cat pose.
Breath in..breath out.....
and there she was..the ultimate multitasking machine of the modern era typing emails away with one hand like there is no tomorrow. Seriously God, is this world coming to an end soon or is there someone in her office saying "geez, I know Elizabeth told me she was going to the gym, but I wish she really answers my email like this very moment"..F5..refresh..F5..refresh..."Lizzy dear, you checking your emails yet?"
Why can't we wait and enjoy the moment? What is this obsession about getting back and being involved ? What is this fear of missing out on something like it is some big party? what is...oh..wait a like I got SMS..oh sure, it can wait..but that red star on my blackberry is calling me with all its might and I have to get rid of it...I just have to..will be right back ;-)

Little Kids Rock!!

A typical 8 PM weekday scene at our home..
I am working in kitchen to pack lunch for everyone. Jay is playing in the living room and he is singing. Nina is playing in living room talking to her imaginary friend.
Suddenly she emerges in the kitchen announcing "maami, poopies.." she points her finger towards her diaper (yeah, like I don't know where)
Jay comes and tells me matter of factly "yeah, that's true. Nina has stinky poopies"
Nina runs like a dart in other rooms thinking I will follow her. No no missy, I am not giving in to that one.
She returns to the kitchen and says "maami, poopies"
I grab her and rush towards the room to change her. Jay senses something interesting is going to happen and runs along.
Now Nina is screaming her head off while I am changing her diaper and her butt is in air at times. Jay is singing loudly to match her pitch and jumping over her.
Towards the end of diaper changing, I announce to ..oh..BTW, did I tell you Datta was working on this laptop like 2 feet away from this whole situation. So, I announce it to him "Datta, I am this close to losing it."
Nina is too young to understand what it means and Datta knows I have already lost it, but seems like Jay is catching up with me on that one. He looks at me like "you gonna lose it mommy? what if you lose it and do not get it back? I dont want to live with a crazy woman as my mom..dont lose it.."
There is silence, I pick Nina up and Jay follows. Suddenly, she puts her tiny hand on my hair and says "maami tayad? (tired) maami hungy? (hungry)?"
I do not believe she said that to me.
Jay puts his hands on my cheeks and says "reeeeeeeeee lax mommy, go to sleep"
OMG, kids are so natural in telling us how simple love can be.
what if when Datta walks in the house after a long day at work, I ask him "tayad? hungy?". Will that be magical for him?
I have yet to try...

An Affair to remember

I am having an affair..there I said affair with’s been going on for years...I long for it..I am so happy when I get it..I day dream about it and I am miserable when I don’t get it..It must have started about 5 years back when Jay was born as a baby who never slept anywhere other than lap and as a baby who needed to be fed almost continuously. I remember during the first week after his birth, he would even scream on the lap while sleeping and my mom said to me "oh..poor baby..he cannot get proper position to sleep..". I looked at her like I cannot make sense of this entire world and said "but, what about me?" I think she expected this question from me..she patted gently on my shoulder and said "HE is a baby"..Then came Nina who looks like made a pact with Jay when in womb about not sleeping and when she would scream and not sleep anywhere but on the lap, Jay asked me "mommy, why is she crying? She can sleep ..." I gently patted on his shoulder and told him "SHE is a baby." at least I had learnt my lesson.
Although the days of dozing off while having an infant is on my lap are long gone, sleep is still not a guaranteed thing for me. Winters are hard. Nina wakes up which is alright, I make her sleep, wrap myself up in warm blanket and close my eyes and there she goes again..why would this baby wait until I am so comfortable in my bed and then wake up? Why can't she wake up immediately?
Last week at wee hours in morning, when I had put Nina to sleep successfully, I was thinking about my sleep issues and then it dawned on me. I had read an article about why human beings eat so much even if they are not hungry. It was related to ancient age humans when they had to hunt animals for survival and getting food was not a guaranteed thing for them. So, when they got something to eat, they ate a lot because they were never sure when they would eat next. Looks like I am on the right path after all. An affair with sleep is not a bad at all.
For all the tiny babies out there..Shhhh...Sleep and let sleep........

Fighting..or lack of it..

I gotta say it..I love fighting..arguing...not leaving my point...always saying why? I did use to enjoy this until I got married. Then fighting became a totally different know when you play a game of squash alone? you are banging the ball against the wall and sometimes, if you hit it right way, you will get a second chance, otherwise, you are out of luck. Our fights are like that. I am fighting and arguing without any counter arguments..
then in the end..there is always a question "so, what do you want me to do?"
excuse me?
what do I want you to do?
fight man, fight...
okay, if not a real fight, I can even take this kind of fight, but I need to fight..even if it is in any shape or hard can it be to fight when you have is next to impossible..but I still try to make my point heard..
last week I was having healthy (according to me) argument with Datta. I was standing and Datta was sitting on a chair..and Jay was in the middle. He looked at us like spectators look at tennis match, then he tugged my shirt and said "excuse me, mommy, are you guys fighting?", I said "Yes, Jay, I am fighting with daddy". He quickly ran to his dad, put his little hand over Datta's shoulder and said "Now Mommy, why are making my Daddy sad in the middle of the day by fighting with him? Be nice." So there I went "Sorry Jay and sorry Daddy"
There are times I get this strong urge to make my points and be heard, and then I think let kids sleep and then I will bring it up..then at about 9:30 PM, I ask my self, think about this woman, would you rather fight or sleep and the answer is undoutably can make miracles happen for Datta..

Amazing Human Beings

This week has been good so far. I mean it. Day before yesterday Datta came back from office in the eve and as he entered the door Nina went running to him and said "I love your shoes, Daddy". Datta stood there is total disbelief. We gave each other a mommy-daddy look and smiled. The other day I got a small boo boo and Nina came running to me and said "mommy, u okay?" Jay went running to the freezer and got ice pack for me and applied it on my boo boo. How cool is all that?
It has been a tough job to give bath to Nina lately. It takes about an hour. I try to coax her into taking bath peacefully. I give her lot of options, I let her choose some toys and her clothes, but nothing seems to make her want to take bath. I try all that peacefully for almost half an hour and then I turn into a totally different person. I got job to finish. I pick her up, pay no attention to her crying "Nooooo", take her into the bath tub and pour water on her. Sometimes she even has her clothes on. Then she ties to climb out of the tub and sit on my lap and I try to keep her in the tub and finish everything. She is crying the entire time. One day this week, I could see Jay getting upset and sad just looking at her. He came and said to her "Nina, you know you have to take bath everyday right? So, why dont you stop crying and enjoy these 15 minutes?". She suddenly stopped. I think little people listen to little people better. Jay asked her "Do you want me to hug you?". She said "yeah". He hugged her and then kept patting her gently and sang "A B C D" to her until I was done with my job. My boy saved me from the rest of the crying..
Now..moving on to incident number 2. Nina and Jay having a friendly fight like lion's cubs do. I was watching them from a distance. Suddenly the situation turned volatile. Jay would walk with her in parallel and then cross her path pushing her purposely and would go on his merry way. Sometimes when she fell down, he would fall near her and would not let her stand up with his legs on top of her legs. He paid no attention to her yelling "No, dada, stop, not nice, tine-out (it means timeout in Nina++ language)". He was actually very happy to see her fall and cry and be helpless.
How can the same person who is so gentle and supportive turn into this person who is mean and almost unreachable? Then I thought, isn't that true with all of us? We are so loving and gentle at times and at times we turn into these mean people. He is making her ready for this world. It is tough out there sister. You better learn it now from me than from anyone else.
It must be tough to be 1 year old and 4 year old. Sometimes when kids are crying and I see that helpless expression in their innocent eyes (after the first few minutes of them yelling because of anger ofcourse), I tightly hug them, and whisper in their ears "it is okay. I know it is hard. Mommy is here."
Admit know that there is at least 2 people living inside of us. One who does things and the other who watches the first one do things. When I do something good, I see the other Sangeeta smiling at me. When I do something bad, I see her telling me in calm and firm voice "you know what you did. It is time to make it right". Until my kids are old enough to find that other person inside them, I need to be that person, right?