Monday, July 30, 2012

Procrastination 101

Folks, the light of the knowledge inside me is exploding and it's about time I share it with you guys since the elections are approaching or whatever..you must have read a lot of articles about how to procrastinate or how to not procrastinate. But I present you my very own knowledge on how to cope with a spouse who is a procrastinator..you are welcome!

1>First of all, I think the term procrastination should be changed to something neater because the word procrastination makes me want to procrastinate writing this blog somehow..

2>It is not easy to spot people who suffer from procrastination...even if you live with them..so here are some common traits-
    1> They are often soft spoken people
    2> They smile a lot..sometimes it is disturbing why would they smile when they are a number of reasons to get upset about..
    3> They might even have a halo if you look closely..because they think that things fall into place..we should let things happen..and they are right. This world is run mostly by people called un-procrastinators..
    4> They often say "I just want to make a right decision". This is are the most cunning variety of procrastinators my friends..beware..

3> Once you understand that the person is a procrastinator, please do not hold back. It's scary to admit I know..but better late than never..arrange for intervention....do not procrastinate about that..

4> Join a group..The procrastination daily meetings are held at my house every night at 9 PM. If you can not make it, start your own chapter..and NO yelling..so not nice..remember procrastination is a chronic condition guys..breathe..if that does not work..Y.E.L.L.

5> Find a coping mechanism..shopping works for the most part. Or Yoga..and remember just thinking about doing Yoga is as good as actually doing Yoga..or blog..

6> Gender matters. According to the most recent study conducted by the IHaveALotOfTimeToKill group, women are mostly affected by spouses suffering from procrastination. The group belives that the study holds true in all countries until some other group conducts similar studies and proves it wrong that is..

7> Call hotline 1-800-D.E.A.R.S.A.N.G.E.E.T.A.P.L.E.A.S.E.H.E.L.P.M.E. and leave a voicemail..we are there for you 3 hours a day 3 days a week..please keep it to the point. remember blogging is for your ranting..

8> Last but very important, procrastination is highly contagious..So you have to test your immunity often..for example - if you bring ice cream and it remains in the freezer for more than a week, I would say you are showing early signs of procrastination.

Oh you are so welcome!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Rated PG13

M driving N back home one evening...

N: Mamee why you driving so fast?
M: I am driving in the speed limit..
N: No, you driving fast..you want that car to hit our car and make loud noises?
M: No
N: you want to be in accident when that car hits?
M: No
N: You want to be dead?
M: No no
N: you want to be dead on the road for a long time and the blood coming out?
M: Nooooo...
N: Okay, can you give me my sikky cup?? I am hungry..
M: You finished all your milk already..
N: can you go fast? you want me to be hungry?
M: No..

and so on..

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Hey Aajji

Wo आज्जी
uh haa uh haa
Hey Hey आज्जी
uh haa uh haa

I came up with this song just for you
cause you love me and yes, I love you too
uh..haa..uh..haa..
Wo आज्जी , Hey आज्जी
Hey hey आज्जी
uh haa uh haaa

Can I tell you something while I am eating this pie
Air India needs money, but so do I
Why don't we make a deal and just move on
Don't you go early, will you please hang on..
Wo आज्जी , आज्जी भाजी
Uh haa Uh haa

Can we have you for ever and ever
Cuz you are so funny and nice and clever..
I love your tiger roar and yeah that fake burp
u know when you are not here, it's all work work work
आज्जी , hey hey आज्जी भाजी
uh haa uh haaa

मराठी एंक दोन तीन चार पाच
देवा मला बुद्धी दे आणि ऐक माझे आज
कन्नड OneDu TwoDu ThreeDu and FourDu
Air India चा strike होवूदेत, नको विमान सोडू
Hey Hey आज्जी , आज्जी भाजी
uh haan uh haan

तू आणि मी एंक rock star band काढू मस्त
मी cupcakes करेन आणि तू कर फस्त
बघ तुझ्यासाठी मी share करायला झालो तयार
तू राहा इथेच आता नको भाव खाउ फार
Hey Hey आज्जी
आज्जी भाजी
uh haa uh
 
Wo आज्जी
uh haa uh haa
Hey Hey आज्जी
uh haa uh haa

-Love जयडू
P.S: I will also let you win CandyLand if you stay. Only one time..

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Jonathan's mountain

Jonathan loved oak trees..
Not just any oak tree
Only this one
Cause it was a really special one..

It was so tall
soaring high in the sky
And he could see his friend
his friend - Emma - walk by

Emma was so special..
He could tell
She would wave at him
every single time without fail..

Her bus came early
before any other buses came in..
But Emma always looked bright and happy
Determined to take it all in..

her hands flailed in excitement when the bus came
And she wore the most beautiful smile on her face so lit
she wanted to speak thousands of words
But none of them really made it..

She straightened her backpack
and stumbled on the steps
and joined a bunch of kindred souls
welcoming her with loud claps

"bye my sweet friend"
said Jonathan "Have a good time.."
"your mountain is waiting.."
"and so is mine.."

"Oh, I so want to fly to you"
He said looking at his broken wing
"When you come back"
"I will wait for you sure thing"

Jonathan lived on a tree
a beautiful Oak tree..

He loved oak trees..
Not just any oak tree
Only this one
Cause it was a really special one..

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Vacation Day

It must be nice day outside
I can not wait to go on the slide

It's my vacation day afterall
Its six o'clock, I should waste no time at all..

I can hear Nina from the other room
Looks like the party will begin soon

Oh, but wait wait wait
Mom said it's her vacation day, we should sleep in late

no worries.. I will make no sound
I won't wake her up until she comes around

Psssttt Nina, come out, come out
Mommy will wake up soon, please don't pout

A few chairs and blankets on top of it
is all it will take to make our show a big hit

place your hand on the heart and stand by the chair
I will sing the national anthem and I won't be loud, pinky swear

you are the cat and I am the master in our cat show
say Meow and when I pat you, bend real low

drum the plates, bang the sticks for the grand finale my dear
I will play the piano to add some extra flair

a big round of applause
ladies and gentlemen is all I want to hear
oh..who is clapping for real?
mom and dad, I did not even know you were near..

Happy Vacation day everybody!!