Breakup

It's been a while we since broke up..I can talk about it now..

I still remember the last time we met. It was a sad and gloomy day. We knew for days in advance that we will part our ways, but there was still some hope until the very last minute. We were both sad and broken and could not utter a word to each other. We looked at each other with that familiar precious look..We had no hopes or expectations from each other..We knew we will cross paths again..when and in what condition is never known..

In so many ways we are so meant to be together but we have been on and off a number of times. So much was being offered to me, but I don't know what I want. I can be my own childish self again when we are together, but I have things to take care of..I am pampered and loved, but of course all that cannot be true..can life be this beautiful and interesting all the time? That is not real..i run away from it..We both know this..this is what I do..We have been there and done that..

We held hands, we hugged, we cried and we parted our ways..I felt like I was freezing..I wanted to run away from this moment of parting..For some time I did not understand why people were smiling, I did not understand why they were eating, I did not understand how they can sleep so well ..I did not know what was I doing on my own..But I made it through this far..again..

It's been a while since we broke up..with India that is..I can talk about it now..

Luxurious life

Now that our youngest one has passed all stages of her infancy, I feel like life has become luxurious. Since I did not waste any occasion in the last several years to complain about how hard everything is, I think I owe it to my luxurious life to say thank you at least once. So here it goes - Thank you!
1> I now know that taking bath once per day is not a miracle. I still get haunted by voices calling me and sound of loud banging on the door, but singing always helps.
2> I now recognize Datta as a person whom I met in my early 20s. No, he is not a helper God sent for me when the whole diaper changing marathon began back in 2006.
3> I have 2 hands all for myself (most of the times)..
4> Chairs can be used for sitting. And yes, sitting is so much more pampering than I ever thought it would be.
5> Food tastes way better when eaten from a plate.
6> If you leave a voicemail for me, I guarantee that your call with be returned in no later than 10 business days. When I call, at least 10 words per minute will be audible for a human ear.
7> I almost certainly come to know by the end of the day when I am wearing a pair of socks that do not match.
8> I know now that there are friends around me who do not go by the names like "nebulizer", "nasal spray" and "thermometer" and thank God they speak human.

So, this is to you my luxurious life..Cheers!
PS: God, my loving daughter has whole heartedly taken it upon herself to host "The late night show with Jay Dixit" after he decided to step down. May I puh-leeez get a break?

Jay#

Hi all! I am Jay and I am the ultimate cleaning machine you can ever think of. I have a bunch of cleaning supplies. Vacuums, brushes, brooms..you name it, I have it..mommy says I make a whole lot of mess, but that is the whole point. You make a mess, you clean it, you make a mess, you clean it, you make a mess and sometimes don't clean it..
I have a daddy, mommy and sis Nina. I call her "Neen". She is something. She comes to same school and we see each other at the playground. She screams "daaadaaa, dada..." over and over again like she has not seen me in months. I guess she loves me or may be she loves screaming. Like when we are in the car on our way back home, she is into screaming a lot. When I grow up to be above 18 years and drive a car, I am going to keep her car seat in the front seat so she can look around..whilemean (as per mommy it is meanwhile, but i go by my rules) you will have to be in the back seat Neen..you get what you get and you don't get upset..yeah..enough screaming Neen..
I love airplanes, snow plows, trains, buses. When I grow up, I am going to have my own airliner called "Air Hoss". Hoss because it will have a lot of cute air hostesses in it..
I can make snow plow out of anything, yeah, it's an art. Mommy branged 3 snow plows for me so far. She buyed it from the Amazon Toys R Us in Hoboken.
I love to sing..I am always singing..mommy says it will be okay if I don't study too much and become a singer or something..boy she is an inspiration, isn't she?
Daddy is funny..when mommy asks him to do something, he waves his hand like a military man and says "yes, madam" which mommy never likes. So, please stop doing it daddy. Not fair to mommy.
All in all, it is a wonderful life..busy, but cool..All Izz well..Have a hot dog day!

Mr. McSpringy

Its that time again! The days of feeling good standing next to a car's exhaust are long gone. With another winter under my belt, I am ready to talk about weather without sighing..come on friends let's talk weather..

Welcome to our lives Mr. McSpringy!! I have not waited for anything to happen as much as I did for you to come..I love the long days, the great sunshine, the birds chirping in the early morning. I love to watch the geese playing in the river when my kids take me out for a walk..I love to hear from kids that I picked them up early since the sun is still shining bright in the sky...You have changed me into a totally new person..

Someone whose name starts with "W" knocked the wind out us this year. Mr. McSpringy, can you please come a little early next year and stay a little longer?

So long, Mr. W...please be nice to us next year.

P.S: Jay, please don't get upset with mommy. Mommy also loves watching snow plows..only when they are not working..

My best maami and daddy

Dear Jay and Nina,

It's been raining ..all day long..

My best daddy lives in my memories..I never get to see him or talk to him..

My best maami lives in India. Far far away. thousands of miles away..I want to call her everyday..but sometimes I don't...when I am busy..When I call her the next day, I ask "maami, did you wait for my call yesterday?" She smiles and says "I knew you must be busy.." Sometimes I don't call her for 2 days in a row and then she leaves me a loving voicemail "Hope you are fine. worried about you." Then I call her and talk to her about all sorts of things..silly things, serious things, important things, not-so-important things, routine things and we have a ball..when I disconnect I realize I did not even ask her how she was. So i call her back and ask "maami, how are you? Have you been sleeping well? Have you been eating okay?" and I know her eyes get all teary and her voice turns all thick and heavy..and I know she is proud of me..She has always been. Sometimes she says "It's raining here and I thought about you all day", I choke and quickly change the subject as I remember all those stormy monsoon nights she held me close to her heart so I won't get scared..

You remember you learnt what "waiting" is in the Dr.Seuss book? She does a lot of that..waiting gracefully..waiting like it is a celebration..she waits to see me smile, she waits to pat my back, she waits to stroke my hair. When you were about to come in our lives, maami and daddy learnt that too..we celebrated waiting for you to be born, we celebrated waiting for you to take first steps, we celebrated waiting for you to talk and we will do that always and forever..When I leave my maami, I cry. She hugs me tight and says "find happiness. be nice. don't do this to yourself. Where is the happy face?" The way I feel when you cry sometimes on your way to school..

When you grow up and won't spend much time with maami and daddy, remember we will always wait for you no matter what and you can always come back to us. And when we are not around, you can be each others maami and daddy..be nice and stick together my babies..

It's been raining ..And I miss my best maami and daddy...all day long..

Let go

I should really get this done fast..before she catches me doing it..pick one straw out and quickly place the box it back in the cabinet like nothing ever happened..I feel someone tugging my shirt and I turn around and there she was..she caught me this time too. With a firm voice, she said
"I doooooo yit, maami" (BTW, I never mentioned this before, but I am starting to think Nina has a bit of southren accent, so this sounds like "aa dooo yit")
"I dooooo yit, maami"
"No no Nina, mommy is already done picking the straw for you.."
"I doooooo yit, maami"
"No Nina, take this one"

Now she is irritated, she grabs the big box of straws and pulls it, I start pulling from the other end.
"Let go, maami"
I pull harder..
"Let go, maami"
Jay is speechless looking at us..

if I let go, she will pick each straw, twist it and put it in her mouth and then put them back in..my straws will all get twisted and dirty..oh noo..my straws..my..wait a minute..who is the toddler here? it is really worth worrying about the straws than letting my daughter experiment with her newfound freedom..let go..let go..

so, I let go..
Nina cannot believe that..
"Nina dooo yit?"
"yes, Nina"
"Nina pick staw?"
"yes"

she flashes a huge grin and carefully examines the box..she shakes it hard..not bad..let go...let go..
she looks at most of them without taking them out..yay...let go..let go...
she carefully grabs a blue straw and gives the box back to me..

"I done. yellow staw"
"u done, Nina?"
"yeah.."
"really?"
"yeah.."
"are you ...." she has exited the room..

I dreamed a dream..

Imagine me singing "I dreamed a dream" like Susan Boyle..for those busy souls who don't know who she is (yet) here is a link to see how stars are discovered. click it..right now..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

so, I dreamed a dream that my little ones will sleep peacefully in the crib like the babies they show in the commercials. Nina comes with her own set of rules and no body can change them..no body..
When she was tiny, after placing her in the crib (when she is in the deep sleep), she would magically wake up and scream in less than 10 minutes. Crib was mainly used to keep Nina in it when she had blissfully finished most of her sleep and it was "okay" if she would wake up. If she was awake and I dared to put her in the crib, she started giving me "you think this is gonna work lady?" looks. So the lady gave up on her dream. From that point on the crib has become the most versatile piece in my house. No kidding. read this-
1> Have lot of clothes you cannot fold right away? (or may be until not at all), dump them in the crib. There is plenty of space.
2> Have clothes which are not yet fully dry? no issues..hang them on the crib..
3> Have to take a bathroom break when at home with 2 kids? crib to the rescue. keep the little one in the crib and rush..(caution: this only works until the older one has not yet figured out how to scoop up the little one from there)
4> Are you an avid hide-and-seek player? you know where the best spot to hide is..
5> After your little ones almost forget that it ever existed, you can even hide Christmas or birthday gifts there and no one will ever know they were there for like weeks..
see, i told you ..don't you get disheartened if you are faced with crib-o-phobic kids..there is always a brighter side.
so all would be parents who are thinking of buying a beautiful magnificent crib, really think twice..Do your clothes really care about how beautiful the place is where they end up after they are out of the dryer?