nOt nIcE !!

To my dismay I found out yesterday that the season names in English are not capitalized..thanks to Jay. I was in shock though. If H in Halloween can be capital, T in Thanksgiving can be capital, then why not S in spring? I mean I know kids love Halloween and holidays in general, but who does not love Spring? anyone??

I pray to the goddess of English grammar or some agency on the second floor of a tall building on Broadway and 67th which controls the English grammar in the world that they pay close attention to a mother with south Asian origin living in east coast of USA about my plea to change this immediately.

Here is what I propose for spring - SpRiNg

Here is what I propose for summer - SUMMER

What makes me think I am missing something here?? oh..yeah..I know why because I do not consider winter and fall as seasons. Winter is torture and fall is semi-torture. Here is what I propose for the both of them. Also I am introducing a new concept of crazy case letters here (Upper case, Lower case, crazy case, get it??)

Here is how we write winter - w n er i h a t e u

Here is how we write fall - fa__  (those two dashes are the fallen “l”s in the fall..crazy right?)

What do you say? With me??

God I love Gods!!

Since I have a lot of work to do and no time for myself, I was thinking the other day about which God is one of my favorites. Apparently gods did not have too much work that day, so they came on the stage to show off their skills and what not. Poor things did not know I already had my mind set. Sorry god..human beings...(roll your eyes..wait..is that allowed as a God?)

I love love love Ganapati. Something to do with the goofy looks and loving eyes I guess. Goofy looks and loving eyes remind me of someone I know..who could that be..um....these are some people who carry their purses wondering why they are so heavy and always have scrunchy on their wrists. Sometimes they do not remember their phone numbers and ask people to give them a missed call while exchanging contact information. They also like to eat a lot. sweets...um...

Then I love Krishna. Mischief. I love that. Who can live the entire whole life without it? I would like to be krishna once during my day. I would love to steal something from someone's lunch box if I think I love it more than anything. I also love that he has Radha And Meera both yearning for him. Who would not want 1 woman who dances and other woman who sings just doing that so you can be happy? And talk about giving advice. Love love love it. I want someone to write a book about how much advice I give to people around me. I bet people have a lot to learn from me. (note: Halo is for real)

Now don't get me wrong they both have great qualities other than these, but somehow these goofy mischievious things make them so human for me. If Gods can do all this, then why can't I? I came late to office, so what? I am sure Lord Krishna would have done the same thing if he was in my place. I stole a laddu from someone's lunch box..I am sure Ganpati is with me on this one. Stealing sweets is allowed until you reach age when you cannot eat them anymore. He told me so.

Then comes Maruti. You guessed it. Goofy. Smart and slighly weird. Remember once Maruti grew larger and larger in size? I totally want that but in opposite way. When Jay and Nina are throwing tantrums, I was to shink ..smaller and smaller ..so small that they ultimately can't find me. And think about leaping. Oh my..God knows how helpful that will be for me when I am sitting in the bus stuck in Lincoln tunnel traffic..way to go Maruti god..

Now you might think, whats wrong with Rama and so on and so forth? Nothing actually. It's just that they seem way too serious. I can't approach them often with my issues because I am so silly. Remember Soup Nazi from Seinfield? He used to say No Soup for You..if someone made a slight mistake? I fear the other gods will say, No wending machine M&Ms for you today silly lady, if I crack a silly joke in front of him...God knows I love my M&Ms..don't you God?

"Joey" The Joey

little joey suddenly felt cold and very very hungry. What just happened? He was frightened. He felt his body shivering. In a split second he felt warm again. inside out. He felt overwhelming sense that a constant source of love was surrounding him. It was a feeling we can only experience. What just happened? he thought...Nevertheless, I should stop thinking and start enjoying..rest..eat..rest..eat..rest..eat..rest..eat..days must have gone by when Joey slept and ate and slept and ate and rested. He really did not care much. He was getting all he wanted to get. It was more like he was getting everything without really knowing what he wanted..that and sometimes it felt like he was riding a roller coaster. Kind of bumpy. Like a lullaby to put him to sleep if he was awake. I love this..he thought..

Tiny Joey got just a tiny bit stronger by all that resting and eating and resting and eating..and figured out he has legs. Tiny legs he can move. It was kind of fun. He could twist and turn and move his tiny head a bit ..but he still wanted to rest and eat and rest and eat and rest and eat...so he did just that..I love this..he thought..

Little Joey got a little bit stronger by all that resting and eating and resting and eating ..and figured he could do a somersault..wow..that was something..He was proud of himself. But why do i feel different suddenly? I see a whole lot of different things now..I see colors, I hear sounds, I see that I am moving without actually moving my body..Am i dreaming? Who is doing this to me? He looked around and saw someone he connected with instantly. She smiled. She patted him gently. That was reassuring. He was not that nervous any more. He felt confident and calm. He peeked his head a little more and started enjoying the ride. But there only this much little Joey could do before he felt tired again. Then all he wanted was to rest and eat and rest and eat and rest and eat..so he did just that..I love this..he thought..

Joey was full of life now. He smiled, ate, played, giggled, rested and did somersaults. But that was not enough now. He wanted to explore. He did not have to do much. She understood. She gently gave him a nudge just enough for him to jump out on his own and stand on his own for the very first time. It was magical!! Magical for both of them. Magical happiness poured out of their hearts. Magical music played in their ears and magical energy gave them just enough boost to explore together. But he missed something terribly. He missed the closeness and the secure feeling. His eyes spilled out his feelings and she smiled. Her eyes were inviting more than ever before and he jumped in like there is no tomorrow. Together they were..again..

Months must have gone by and Joey grew by leaps and bounds. He became more aware of himself and more independent. He became more adventurous. One fine morning when he was out there exploring with her, she looked at him and they spoke. They spoke a language of love that only they could understand. She was proud of him. It was time she said. I know he nodded. But when I am scared, will I do fine? he asked. You will my boy. WHen scared remember that safe place you came from and you will do just fine. She said. That one moment when they looked at each other felt like a moment frozen in time. So beautiful and no natural. So sad and so happy. So "only theirs"..and off he went away from her...

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Last week I read a book to Sunshine and Buttercup about Kangaroos and found it interesting that A female kangaroo gives birth to a tiny baby about the size of a jellybean weighing only 2gm. A kangaroo baby is called "Joey". She carries it in her pouch for months until it is at a stage of development where it can live outside the pouch. Hats off to you Kangaroo moms!! I love you all. You rock!!

Rainbow heart

I am always amazed by the rainbow. I can look at it for hours if it would stay. It is not just the awesome colors and the amazing shape that awakens every desire to live inside me, it's so much more than that. The colors are bound together so tightly like a band of brothers. Nobody can ever try to separate them. It's so so high up I am always curious how will it be to sit on it and kind of slide down until I realize even more beautiful thing about it - that is it really does not exist. It's just a phenomenon. It's not a thing I can touch and feel with my hands. How can something like this give me such tremendous joy? then I start thinking about my life and realize lots of things that are not physical things give me extreme joy. Ever wonder where is love coming from? Where in my body does it really exist? I can never touch it with my hands but it fills my entire being. Ever wonder where is compassion coming from? I can feel it all the time. I can feel it so much flowing inside me. I bet there is a rainbow inside me. Inside every human being. All these colors are the feelings. Good feelings, scary feelings, nervous feeling, feelings of excitement, compassion, affection and pure joy. They are sticking together like a band of brothers. They need each other. Sometimes it rains inside me. It rains for days. There is no sun. Not even a hint of it. It feels utterly hopeless and gloomy. All I have to do then is to remember my precious moments with the rainbow. When it all sunny and bright, I will see it again. It's going to fill my whole entire body and being with such palpable excitement and joy, I am going to grow much stronger than I was ever before. My rainbow heart beckons your rainbow heart today. May our rainbows collide some day or may I say mingle??

For my heart and soul...

One precious boy was busy dreaming about a night full of sleep. As he went to bed each night he must have asked himself this question "Is today going to be the night I sleep through?". His red patchy rough skin full of Veseline and hands inside mittens irritated him like no other thing on the earth has. He kept his words to himself most of the times. He knew he has to live with this for the time being at least. His seven year old soul had kept itself busy throughout the day. He did go to school yawning. He studied his maths with heavy eyes. He memorized his spellings and finished his homework as told. The best time of the day was when he was on the playground playing tag. It was sunny and hot. He did not realize this until he came in and felt sorry for doing that. The itchiness was incredibly bad. He could not sit still. He could not write properly. He could not think through. He was worried if he continued scratching he would bleed on his uniform and his friends would make fun of him. He still made it through. He gave his best shot.

"Why me mommy?" he asked while taking bath which seemed like a torture. Why do people enjoy baths he would think each day. Why do people love swimming he pondered. Why can't I eat anything I like without worrying? His little mind drifted back and forth between all the whys several times during the day. At dinner time when he was sitting and chatting with mom and his little sister, mom asked "if you had the power to control the world, what kind of place do you want it to be?" little sis said "I want the world to have lots of toy shops and shoe shops" it was his turn. He looked at mom and found her eagerly waiting for his words. With his eyes full of kindness, he said "I want nobody in this world to be sick. They all need to be healthy" Mom was speechless and sad. Mom kissed his sweet face and whispered "If I could I would take away all your sickness my boy. All of it..."

Pat me one more last time..

Little miss. Jojo was so sleepy. She lay in her bed waiting for her mom to finish the chores.She could see mom working in the kitchen. Mom seemed tired. She was still working very fast. Jojo wanted her to work faster so she can sit with her. She screamed "How much more time mom?".Mom replied "I only have two hands. I am trying." Moms face softened a bit immediately. She put the dishes away and walked towards her. Her eyes seem fixated on Jojo's face. She came and said in the softest voice ever "dishes will wait my dear..I will give you bath now. I love you" Jojo's face lit up..She followed mommy in the bathroom. It was getting late and Jojo wanted a bubble bath. Mom said No. Jojo hated Nos. It's friday afterall. Why can’t I? Mom said tomorrow. Jojo knew mom would not budge. She started crying. She could feel her warm tears trickle down on her face. Mom was watching her from the corner of her eyes and she suddenly turned and said "Okay then. Bubble bath it is. But only for five more minutes" Jojo knew mom says five for a reason. Nice warm bath...hmmmm.....a trip to the heaven and then...back again..it was time to read books..Mom reads three books. Mommy is good at reading. After the third book, Jojo always says "one more? last one?" Then mommy says "Then what Jojo? What will happen after that?" Jojo said with a cute little grin "that’s the last last one mommy". She put her tiny hands on mom's cheeks and kissed her and whispered "you are the bestest mommy, mommy. I love you."Mommy smiled. Her eyes looked tired. She read another book. Jojo yawned. Mommy tucked her in and hugged her tight. Mommy had the softest voice of all. She brushed her cheek against Jojo’s cheeks and patted her back until Jojo drifted off to sleep.

Deep down in the jungle it was kind of scary. The sun was setting. She could hear strange sounds coming from a distance. Could it be a lion? May be there is s snake on the tree under which I am standing. I need to run for my life. But only if I knew which direction I should take..Mom..mom..I wish I had listened to  her..Mom..can you find me? I will never ever ask for bubble baths or one more book or cry for you when I know you are busy..I will be your best friend..just this one time, can you find me?

Magic happens when you wish for something that badly. She could feel mom's hand on her back.The warmest ever feeling settled in her heart. Mom's hand was rough. But it was all Jojo needed to come out of the woods..Back in her mom's arms Jojo said to herself "I know hearts pump blood, but my mom's heart pumps flowers. Tiny shiny bright colorful flowers..I love you mom..just one last one more time, can you pat me? the last last time for today, can you pat me?"

Lost and found..

We lost daddy in whole foods market (it was more like he ran away) ..

so I say to Nina "I need to find daddy"
Her eyes get all weird "who is this lady, how can she lose daddy" like sentiment in them..
but girl stepped up for help "mummy, would you know him by his face if you want to spot him?"
I am like "ummm......"
Girl stepped up to help again.."Don't worry. I know what shirt he is wearing today. I will help."

thank god for good memory..